Heaton Shoppers, Fatties Rejoice
A brand new Link-branded ATM was unveiled in Heaton, Newcastle last week amidst scenes of fanfare and jubilation best described as "non-existent".
The utterly pointless machine, situated in the shop front of Polish grocery boutique The Big Freeze, will charge lazy, overweight people £1.50 to access their (probably) ill-gotten funds.
A spokesman for neighbouring fish and chip establishment, Gills, welcomed Link's decision to cater to their most frequent customers.
"It's really unexpected, and well worth the two or three days in which mothers and toddlers had to dodge traffic as work was carried out," said Suzi Keegan.
"It's closer to our entrance than the Link machine inside the Star Market (next door), which is great news for the fat racists among our clientele."
